I am totally talking to this guy. And i did not think i was so interested in him until now.  I really am falling for him, but im not sure if he feels the same.   He is already getting everything he wants from me, why would he want a relationship? That makes sense right?  Any tips on how to make him want me? I am not even sure if i want to officially date this guy. But i want him to officially date me for sure.  He is by far the sweetest, outgoing, and most attractive guy that i have been interested in, for awhile.   Hope i did not mess this one up.  He took me out to a romantic dinner the other day for valentines and it was amazing. absolutely amazing.   I would love to do it again. I just hope he wants too.  God is still in the back of my mind everyday.  I am not doing the right thing. I need God. A lot. I just cant get to him, and i wish i had more friends that would share the same view with me. I know drinking is bad, and i know doing sexual things before you are married is not what God wants. But these desires of a normal college kid life are too tough at times.  Who doesnt want to fit in?  

Crazy--- i was so happy until i starting writing my feelings down like this, like i was REAL giddy about this thing going on.  Now i feel ashamed, and dirty.  

Another thing, wow, this past week i missed all my classes on tuesday and thursday because i was sooo hung over on thursday. I threw up like non stop for about 12 hours.   It was awful. SICKKKK. And yet i still drank this past weekend. im dumb.  I need to stop drinking on school nights.  That is a definite start. I think i can handle that. And im gaining weight again. Greatttt.... FML. hah fml, love that saying! I need to start doing my homework but i feel like just typing out my feelings.

I am really stressed.  19 hours of study hall for my sorority this week.  Who has time like that? Then i need to teach myself math for the stuff i missed this past week.  Get a dress for a party this weekend! ah! im screwed. God pull me through.  Pull me through!

  - college girl